Ephemeral Embrace

وہ جو ہم میں تُم میں قرار تھا تُمہیں یاد ہو کہ نہ یاد ہو

Because now you come with new freckles, unrecognisable.

Yet, i recall the sensation, unmistakable,

How my fingers used to linger on your ears,

Rolling the slim bones, between my fingertips, soothing fears,

Etching the touch in my memory, incase i ever had to leave:

Precautionary measures. Desperately avoiding all risks-

Ke bhula denay ki koi gunjaish hi na bachay.

 

مُجھے سب ہے یاد زرا زرا، تُمہیں یاد ہو کہ نہ یاد ہو

i remember one time

i had heard him humming a song

as he fixed something in the bonnet of his car.

the sun was melting off the sunscreen

that i had given him.

and it’s been a year since

i had the urge to ask you,

do you still put the sunscreen on?

do you still forget to turn the headlights off?

do you still like to sing songs?

 

وہ بیاں سے پہلے ہی بھولنا، تُمہیں یاد ہو کہ نہ یاد ہو

"baby, what are your most favourite things in the world?"

he’d said, "my cat, the moon, my late father's voice and you."

and then,

i used to think that he himself had hung the moon.

an image of him, i longingly drew-

a desperate little wet dream of a desolate little girl.

i turned him into a lifetime in less than a year.

i made him so much more than he was ever capable of being.

i made you. and i miss you,

my little fever dream.